


Maybe We'll Be Lovers When The Music Ends

by easilydistractedbyfanfic



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Canon, Angst, Background Relationships, Canon Compliant, Canon Universe, Canonical Character Death, Drinking, Drunken Kissing, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode Related, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Minor Character(s), Pining, Slow Dancing, Spec fic for 7x14, Spoilers through 7x13, Technically cheating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-15
Updated: 2020-09-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:14:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26483989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/easilydistractedbyfanfic/pseuds/easilydistractedbyfanfic
Summary: Based on the glimpses of 7x14 from last week's preview and the Inside The Ep, what might happen if you add Raven, Murphy, drinking and dancing?AKA what murven shippers want
Relationships: John Murphy/Raven Reyes
Comments: 18
Kudos: 66





	Maybe We'll Be Lovers When The Music Ends

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Amethyzt](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amethyzt/gifts).



> This fic came about because @amethyzt and I were clowning around about what we'd like to see from our favorite pair in 7x14. After we had a grand old time discussing it all, I realized that no matter what happens in the episode, I really wanted a version of what we came up with to exist in this world. So here's just one possibility, and I hope you like the end result!  
> We might be coming to the end of this show but I've had such a wonderful time discussing our favorite characters together, and you have my endless thanks for your endless optimism in the face of my (near) endless pessimism! <3  
> Raven & Murphy may be nearing their canon ending, but I know that our stories are not, and I am grateful for such a lovely fandom friend!

* * *

Dance with me, dance with me closer, closer and closer

And maybe we'll be lovers when the music ends

~ Dance With Me by The Drifters

  
  


Surreal. That’s the only word for it as Murphy looks around slowly, his mind filled with disbelief. They walked through the anomaly and somehow they’re back on Earth, the trees and dirt and rocks all looking recognizable to him as he scans the area for possible danger. It’s quiet, the only sound the snapping of twigs underfoot and a few faint bird calls, but his gaze catches Raven’s for a moment as she trails her fingers over a large green leaf, her own eyes filled with wonder as she gives him a small but satisfied smile. He doesn’t get to ask her how this is possible, how this could be real when Monty told them that the Earth wouldn’t recover for such a long time, because before he can open his mouth there’s a rustle of leaves and they all stiffen defensively. 

It’s difficult to tell where the noise comes from at first and he takes note of the way Gabriel and Indra move forward, stepping to the front of the group while Raven pulls Madi behind her. Jackson and Emori edge closer too, all of them creating a unit to protectively surround Madi, but a moment later everyone relaxes their guard when a hidden entrance in the mossy forest floor opens to reveal some very familiar faces. 

There’s more than a few happy reunions that result in a flurry of hugs and huge smiles, but Murphy can’t help but wonder what’s keeping Clarke and Bellamy as he watches Raven and Octavia embrace, feeling a sense of relief when Jordan appears to be uninjured. Gabriel had said something about the possibility of a time delay the longer the anomaly was open, but Murphy has an unsettled feeling about it still, even as Echo enters his field of vision and is scooped into a tight hug with Emori. When they were alone together in Sanctum, Raven had told him that although it felt like he had only seen Echo days ago, for her it had been years spent without them all, and he can see the truth of it in Echo’s eyes, her expression more fond than usual as she glances at him over Emori’s shoulder. 

“Long time no see, Murphy.”

“Glad you’re still in one piece,” he replies, thinking about what she almost did on Bardo and how Raven had managed to convince her not to, only to have Diyoza be the one to save them all when Hope tried to get the revenge Echo abandoned. 

It had been in the back of his head, repeating endlessly since Raven had filled him in, that she could have been gone in that split second and he’d never have known about it, never have had any idea that Echo and Bellamy and Jordan and Raven herself were dead on some far-off planet and he and Emori would have never seen any of their family again. He wonders if they would have spent the rest of their lives searching for them, or if they would have eventually accepted that they were gone and tried to grieve for them even without any real closure. The thoughts turn his stomach to acid, make him blink a few times as he deliberately flicks his eyes over Echo and Emori, over to Jordan and then Raven once more, needing to reassure himself that they’re all there and with him in the cool, damp air of the woods. Then there’s no time for any further terrible thoughts as Clarke finally appears within a burst of green light, and the excited chatter all around him begins to fade as everyone else notices the distraught look on her face along with the fact that she’s alone. 

Echo asks about Bellamy first, but it’s the noise Octavia makes, the way her face goes pale that Murphy thinks he’ll remember most. Though maybe he won’t remember much at all, because these awful, prolonged moments continue to feel surreal, but in an entirely different way. 

* * *

Things are tense inside the bunker, even after Niylah pulls out some alcohol, and he doesn’t need any deliberation to know he’s definitely going to have some when she starts passing the bottle, indifferent to how disgusting the contents inside might be. He hands it to Emori after he pours a generous cup for himself but she doesn’t take it, her expression worried. 

“I think I’m going to go look for Echo,” Emori informs him. “She said she wanted to be alone but I don’t think that’s good for her right now.”

Murphy nods, unsurprised. Emori and Echo formed a close bond during their six years on the Ring, and no matter how furious Echo is right now at what Clarke has done, he knows Emori will always be safe with her. It’s probably a good thing Octavia headed off in the same direction with Clarke though, if Echo gets it in her head to do something rash with her anger. 

Personally Murphy can’t care about the repercussions, almost wants Echo to take matters into her own hands, but that’s why he’s drinking, so he can drown the rancorous words that want to spew out of his mouth. For now he wants to be _numb_. For his own good along with everyone else's.

Soon after they all entered the bunker, Gaia had appeared and after a few minutes with Indra, she had escorted Madi away, presumably to keep her sheltered from whatever mess was going to happen after the news about Bellamy. Echo had been practically vibrating with emotion, storming off to who knew where, and Clarke had disappeared soon after. Octavia had spoken quietly with Niylah before she left the room as well, trailing after Clarke, and maybe in an attempt to lighten the mood, Gabriel had taken a seat at the piano, softly playing a few steady, uncomplicated songs while Niylah offered the rest of them food and drink. 

He watches Emori walk off to try and console Echo, his eyes traveling around the room to see who’s left. Jackson and Miller are huddled together on a couch along one side of the room, talking in hushed whispers. Niylah is seated at a small table, her legs propped up on a chair across from her, her own stare intently focused on Jordan and Hope, who are examining and discussing the contents of a few bookshelves not far from Gabriel and his piano. Indra stands by the open doorway that leads to a long hallway, eventually giving Murphy a brief jerk of her chin before she disappears into the darkness behind her to do god knows what. 

After that there’s only Raven left, and Murphy reluctantly lets his gaze drift across the room to her. She seems the most alone, besides him maybe, and he’s been avoiding looking at her because he knows he’ll see the grief in her eyes and won’t be able to hide his. She took the drink Niylah offered her too, and if she’s anywhere close to his own efforts, she could probably use a refill by now. He pushes himself off the wall he’s been slouching against, giving Niylah a slight smirk as he takes the bottle from her table, ignoring her protest as he walks towards Raven with it. 

She’s curled up on another couch, a small one that’s set farther apart from the rest of the room, her head tilted back against the cushions though her hand is firmly wrapped around her drink, and she keeps her eyes closed even when he’s near enough for her to hear him approach. 

“Thought you might want more to drink,” he says, settling himself down on the cushion alongside her as she wordlessly holds her cup out to him. He puts his own glass onto the table next to the couch, wrapping his hand around hers to keep her container steady as he pours. Her fingers tremble beneath his, just as he suspected. She’s barely holding it together, though as usual she’s making a damned good attempt. 

Off to the side of the large room and somewhat behind the couch they’re on, Gabriel starts to play something slower, more poignant, and it makes his eyes sting, the melancholy notes suiting his mood.

He refills his own portion of the bitter, burning liquid, placing the not-quite-empty bottle on the table surface as he considers what to say. They’re both hurting, trying to come to terms with what Clarke told them and this new reality of being back on Earth on top of it, and he’s not really in a place to comfort her any more than she’s in one to comfort him, but a part of him wants to try anyway, to let her know for once she’s not alone in her grief. 

“I know we’re both fucking pissed at him,” Murphy begins, and Raven’s lashes fly open at his words, her head lifting off the back of the couch as she stares at him almost in disbelief that he’s addressing the elephant in the room. 

Her eyes are full of unshed tears, and he was right that he feels worse looking at her, feels her sadness along with his own, but her pain is his pain; has been for years. Ever since she so ferociously spit out that he’d been the one who had shot her all those years ago in the Dropship. A hundred and thirty two years ago to be specific about it, though it’s still difficult for him to believe they’ve been alive that long. Both of them surviving despite the odds against them. As awful as it is to see her sorrow, to _feel_ it now that he’s close enough to look into her eyes, there’s a weight that’s lifted off him since he’s no longer across the room, trying to block out her emotions even though they were near impossible for him to ignore. 

“We were both angry at him and we had good reason to be,” he continues, “but I don’t like what my last words to him were. I thought there would be time to work it out, to argue some more maybe, or he’d come to his senses because someone other than me could get through to him.” He swallows and shakes his head, so much more on the tip of his tongue but he takes another drink instead of saying words that don’t feel like enough. 

“I said something terrible too, but he sent me to be tortured, on Bardo,” Raven says, her voice brittle. “And it was _horrible_. They wanted my memories, but after ALIE, there was no way I’d let some kind of computer get inside my head again, so I fought it. Maybe I shouldn’t have, because I didn’t know where the Flame was. They’d have killed me if I had what they wanted. My resistance, all that pain, it was for nothing anyway. Clarke got taken to M-Cap too, and she agreed to give it to them. So you’re right,” she chokes out, attempting to hold back her emotions, and before he can think his hand reaches out for hers and she grips it like a lifeline. “I have good reason to be angry at him. But after we got to Sanctum again, and I saw him with that Cadogan bastard, it all just felt so wrong. He wasn’t himself. I don’t know what happened to Bellamy, but he...I felt so betrayed, Murphy. He sent me away to potential execution like I meant _nothing_ to him, and now...and now he’s gone and we’re never going to be able to fix it.”

The tears spill out and over her cheeks unchecked with her last few sentences, and his heart aches at what she went through, fresh anger at Bellamy bubbling up within him as he considers the last words he’d flung at his friend. _I hope it’s worth it_ , he’d said, and Bellamy had said it was. The hateful voice inside him wonders if Bellamy was thinking about Raven being tortured as part of that, or if he’d tried to forget about those consequences to his actions, or worse, just considered them justified for a necessary end result. 

Raven takes a long, shaky drink from her cup, draining the whole thing until it’s empty as she continues to hold onto his hand like it’s the only thing keeping her from losing control. His eyes dart to her mouth when she licks her lip after she’s finished, then she leans in close, whispering like she doesn’t want anyone to overhear what she’s about to say. 

“I can’t believe he’s gone and I'm miserable, but I still feel so furious too. I don’t know how to do this. I don’t know what to say to Octavia, to Echo. Are we supposed to hate Clarke now? I wish Harper and Monty were here. They’d know what to say.” She grips his fingers tight enough to bruise. “How am I supposed to _feel_ , Murphy? Just tell me because I don’t know.”

If there was a harder question she could have asked him, he wasn’t sure what it might be. He’s never been good with what to say; has barely even talked to Emori about the loss of Monty and Harper, and can’t even remember if he ever consoled Raven over Shaw’s death. Not that he had anything particularly good or helpful to say about that, but still he knows he should have tried. His feelings are complicated regarding Bellamy too, and usually Raven was the one he looked to for guidance when it came to doing the right thing. Because in spite of everything she’d been put through on Sanctum, unlike him her instincts were seldom only about her own best interests. Raven was a big-picture person; she threw herself into danger with barely a second thought, and the knowledge that she’s this uncertain of herself only adds to his frustration and sadness.

He’s still considering it, how he could answer her, and he takes a hefty gulp of his own drink in case he might find any solutions at the bottom of the glass, but then movement catches the corner of his eye and he looks over towards the piano again, the unexpected sight of Hope and Jordan dancing together filling his vision. Niylah’s still watching them, her expression amused, and for a few seconds he feels less burdened, like maybe things aren’t so bad after all if people can still find happiness when everything is bleak, and he turns back to Raven, wanting to share the moment with her. 

She’s already looking at them, her pretty brown eyes still shiny with tears but there’s something else there, something harder to decipher until her eyes meet his once more and he’s confronted with the full force of her emotions. Wistfulness, that’s the sentiment he couldn’t put his finger on. That’s what Raven felt as she observed Jordan and Hope rocking together to the music, and the realization has him standing up, using his hold on her hand to pull her to her feet before he can question his motives.

Gabriel’s showing no signs of tiring at the piano, and it’s easier than he would have figured to slowly draw Raven into his arms, the sudden inspiration to dance with her becoming more of a restless desire the longer her hand stays in his. She’s off-balance, stumbling into him with his unpredictable move as well as the alcohol running through her veins, and he steadies her, his arm slipping around her back as he tugs her closer, tucking her body ever-so-slightly into his side. Silently she curls her free hand around the curve of his shoulder, and he gets one more glimpse of the curiosity building in her gaze before he rests his cheek alongside her temple, leading her in a long-forgotten replica of the steps he used to see his parents take in the small confines of their quarters on the Ark. A memory he hasn’t thought of for so long that it’s lost all color in his mind, all blurry around the edges and in shades of beige and brown, but still beautiful and capable of piercing his heart even after all this time. His fingers tense on Raven’s where her hand lies entwined with his, and she squeezes back, gently this time like she knows he’s fragile, and his eyes close as they sway to the haunting notes that emerge from the piano keys, lingering in the silence of the bunker until he can almost feel them vibrating right through him. 

It could be hours they move together, united in grief and anger and so much more. However long it is, it’s not enough. Murphy wants to stay this way for as long as he can, with her hair tickling his nose, soft as it brushes against his stubbly cheek, her heartbeat strong and dependable where her chest presses against him. He thinks he understands now, why his parents used to dance together when they were happy, why it always made them smile and laugh, and he understands too that if Raven had never come back to Sanctum through the anomaly, he would never have stopped searching for her, never would have accepted that she was gone forever. 

The urge to look at her is abruptly strong, the need to reassure himself that she was definitely not a figment of his imagination persuading him to pull back from her just enough so he can see her face. Raven tilts her chin to look up at him, and if anyone could resist giving in to the desire to kiss her, it's not him. He releases her hand only to capture her jaw so he can lean in and find out what she tastes like. Even with his capricious past it’s impulsive, but everything about it feels right, from the thudding of his pulse to the way her fingers clutch at his shirt and the shape of her mouth under his as she lets him do it. He takes his time, slow, and it’s more than right, feels like perfection when she sighs against his lips and finally her tongue caresses his and he wonders if he might honestly pass out from the pleasure of it, but he only gets it for a few precious minutes before there’s a jarring, discordant crash of piano keys that has Raven startling away from the kiss before he can stop her. She staggers backwards, breaking the hold he has on her as her fingers float up to touch her mouth like she can’t believe what they’ve just done. He reaches for her, his arms feeling too empty, already missing her warmth and feeling her loss like a fresh wave of grief but she just stares at him, her eyes wide. All he wants to do is stride towards her, gather her up and go far away from everyone and everything until they both feel better but someone says his name and he turns to look, seeing Jackson staring at him defiantly from next to the piano, his fingers still on the keys and obviously the source of their interruption. 

He’d laugh at how utterly captivated she’d made him, distracted him so much he had completely forgotten they weren’t alone this whole time, but he can’t spare any thoughts on humor, not when all the voices in his head are for once in absolute agreement - insisting he talk to Raven, take her somewhere private so they can figure this out. 

But when he spins around to face her again, she’s gone. 

His eyes go around the room, flicking past the judgmental looks on Jackson and Jordan’s faces, Hope’s blatant curiosity, Miller’s neutral expression, and Niylah’s knowing grin. 

She saunters over to him, handing him another bottle of the harsh alcohol she must have opened while he’d been dancing with Raven. “You like to live dangerously, don’t you?” she laughs. “Take this one too. Something tells me you’re going to need it.”

He rolls his eyes but he takes the bottle as he heads into a side hallway Raven must have ducked into, determined to find her. 

* * *

“You can be very stupid,” Emori tells him when she sits down next to him what might be hours later, as he’s stretched out on a random cot in one of the oversized sleeping rooms strewn throughout the bunker. 

He hadn’t found Raven, though he hadn’t looked very far, either. The alcohol had set in, especially since he’d helped himself to more of it straight from the bottle, and instead he’d fallen into the closest bed he’d discovered, his head filled with thoughts of Raven. Of Bellamy. Of loss and lost chances and whether he had used up all of his luck or if he had any left he could still scrape together on a long-shot bet. 

“Something specific this time, or just in general?” he asks, wincing at the headache that talking brings. 

“I saw you kissing Raven.”

That’s absolutely unexpected, and he spills out a messy explanation even though he has no clue what to say, sitting up so fast that he almost falls out of the cot. 

Emori holds up a hand, shaking her head before he can dig himself too deep. “I was in the hall, coming to tell you that I was going to stay with Echo for the rest of the night. I could see into the doorway before I came in, and I saw Jordan and Hope dancing and the two of you together. Well, mostly I saw you, since Raven’s back was to me.”

“It was just a drunken kiss,” he says again, determined to convince himself along with Emori that there was nothing else to it, though the words are sour in his mouth. “Too much strong liquor, too much grief. None of it’s her fault - I wasn’t thinking and it was me who kissed her. As soon as we realized, we pulled away.” 

Well. That wasn’t exactly the case, but they were well on their way to _being_ drunk, though maybe Raven had already been there, and they _were_ both drowning in grief and anger too, and he _did_ kiss her first. If anybody deserves to take the blame, it’s definitely him. Even if he can’t forget the way Raven kissed him back. Doesn’t want to forget it. 

“It’s obvious you had too much to drink by the look of you, and I know you’re both hurting. Nobody needs to remind me just how much we’ve all been through lately. But I saw you kiss her, John. It was _not_ a simple, drunken mistake,” Emori accuses, though her voice is weary instead of indignant. “At least on your part, anyway. You need to figure out what it is that you want.”

Emori walks to the door, turning once more to look at him. He sees less disappointment in her face than he expects, and he’s not sure what that means. For him or for her. 

“I’m not going to tell Raven I know anything about it. Echo told me how Bellamy sent her off for what amounted to torture when they tried to take her memories. If she was drinking just as much as you were, for all we know she might not even remember what happened in the morning. And as weird as it sounds, I’m not really angry. Harper, Monty and Bellamy are all gone, and it’s just you, me, Raven and Echo that are left. And Jordan, we have to look out for him too. We could have lost all of them on Bardo. We’re family, and we’re finally together and back on Earth and I don’t want anything to mess that up. So just promise me that if your feelings are more involved than you’re admitting, that you at least get that worked out in your head before you make another reckless move. Got it?”

“Yeah,” he nods, unsettled at Emori’s lack of anger as well as the suggestion that Raven might forget what happened between them tonight. He wants her to remember even though it’s selfish of him on multiple levels. Emori’s demand that he work things out in his head is completely reasonable, overly generous even, considering he kissed someone who isn’t her, but where Raven’s concerned, his feelings have always been involved. And probably everybody knew it but Raven herself. 

After Emori goes, presumably to be with Echo, he lies back onto the pillow and closes his eyes again, but sleep is elusive. The memory of Raven nestled against him lingers, both in his mind and like a physical presence he can’t shake, not that he wants to. It’s all so complicated, his feelings. On their own each one isn’t difficult at all, but everything taken in combination is what trips him up, makes him question what to do. 

If Bellamy were here he might hint that he’s looking for advice, but Bellamy will never be here again and the thought serves to sober him quicker than anything else, the anguish of it squeezing the breath from his lungs. He’d always known life was short, but this… This wasn’t anything he’d been prepared for. He remembers again how it just as easily could have happened, all of them hardening into some kind of crystallized stone on another unknown planet without him having any knowledge of it. At least he doesn’t have to wonder about Bellamy, even though he has a helluva lot of questions for Clarke. Just like Raven, he isn’t sure how they’re supposed to feel about her now. He’ll follow Echo’s lead maybe, though nothing is certain. 

Sighing, he rolls over to his side, no longer feeling quite so intoxicated. Which means he can’t fool himself when he tries to pretend his thoughts don’t wander right back to the overwhelming first kiss he and Raven shared earlier. And he can’t ignore the absolute certainty that he doesn’t want it to be their last one. 

Maybe Bellamy has a final piece of advice for him after all, Murphy considers, as he sits up and shoves his feet back into his boots. There’s never going to be enough time, but whatever he’s got left, he knows who he wants to spend it with. And maybe that long-odds bet isn’t as implausible as he once thought, now that he’s discovered the enthusiastic way she kissed him back. As far as he’s concerned, she couldn’t have responded like that if it was only about comfort, and he intends to find out just how deep her feelings go. She’d asked him to tell her how to feel, and he might not know what to say about Bellamy or Clarke or being back on Earth, but he knows exactly what to tell her when it comes to how he wants her to feel about _him_. 

If she gives him a chance, he’s gonna make sure that's not their last dance either. 

**Author's Note:**

> God, don't we WISH?! Lemme know what you think, and as usual, I'll be watching live tomorrow and on tumblr if anyone wants to scream about it.


End file.
